WHY? 

Why would a woman shave her eyebrows?
Then with some strange glee
Draw a picture of her eyebrows
Where her eyebrows used to be.

SPLIT UP

I’ve just split up with Olivia Newton-John
No really! I’ve had enough!
If any relationship’s going to weather the storms
It needs both parties to perform
I’m tired of being the one putting in all the work
And getting nothing back in return
She acts like she doesn’t even know I was born
Yeah and that was the trouble with Goldie Hawn.

FEDERER

If they want to beat that bloke Federer
They’ll have to get much more betterer
Practice much harderer
Hit much more fasterer
Get much more fitterer etcetera.

FLIGHT OF THE GREY NOMADS

I love to travel to the great outback
Where the hardiest pioneers go
To vast cattle runs in the searing sun
Where red deserts bake and parched rivers flow
See where our mighty land was built
On the back of the mighty Merino
Then ease in off the dusty track and
Have a Cappuccino!

©  Laurie McDonald